Pimiento Cheese: Any Way You Want It
◔ Serves 1 or more, depending on how hungry you are.
⧖ 15 minutes or so
4 cups shredded cheese, any kind
2 tablespoons (or more) mayonnaise (I prefer Duke's but use whatever you like, even if all you have is plain yogurt)
¼ cup of something pickled (the obvious choice is pimientos, but olives, relish, dill pickles, pickled okra, pickled jalapeños, or anything else will work just fine)
a dollop of strong Dijon mustard (Trader Joe's Dijon is the best, even my half-French husband agrees)
a dash of Worcestershire
salt and pepper to taste
Optional: dash of hot sauce, splash of liquid from your pickled product of choice, random herbs and spices
Shred all of your random cheese in the food processor or grate it by hand. Dump it in a bowl.
Add mayo, pickled item, and all other ingredients.
Stir, fold, and/or mash it together.
You might think the cheese will never come together when you start stirring. It will. Add less mayo to start and resist the urge to add more unless you really, really need it.
If you use, say, jalapeño-stuffed olives instead of pimientos, this isn't technically pimiento cheese. Are you okay with that? I am. Let's just call it cheese spread.
If you like a smoother spread, soft cheeses like blue cheese, goat cheese, or brie make a great addition.
As always, remember to use vegetarian Worcestershire if you're feeding vegetarians or people who are allergic to seafood.
Pimiento cheese is a pantry staple, so there's no way you can make too much.